Thursday, December 6, 2012

Dec. 3: Let it snow!

Dear Family!

I don't have much time to write today.. we are going to have a missionary Christmas party in Lund! and we had a late start going because there is SNOW COVERING EVERYTHING!! Yes... i made syster werjefelt bike in the snow.. just so we can save time.. :) Don't worry mom. I'm wearing my helmet!

I LOVE the snow! and I love Christmas! and I love Swedish christmas! and I love church during Christmas! Yesterday we had a wonderful testimony meeting. Everyone was happy and shared about how thankful they were for LIFE! Isn't life just wonderful? :)

Well.. This week started out a little rocky. We have been going a little bit slower.. and our friends that we have been teaching are dropping like flies. Our days seem to be a little bit empty. But in a way I think it is a good thing because we get to go at a little better pace of life. I have found, being on the mission, that lots of people don't seem to like going at my rushed pace. And to tell you the truth it is a little nice to go at a slower pace. You get to enjoy life a little better. Swedish mentality is definitely more calm and easy going. "ta det lugn" ... a very Swedish phrase.

Also ending the mission.. I all the sudden get these thoughts like.. Have I done everything? Have I really done my best? Have I used my time wisely? Did I talk to EVERyONe I could? And then I realize that I was not perfect throughout the past year and a half and I am filled with regrets.. oh no. I have been a terrible missionary. These were the feelings that plagued me at the beginning of the week. Thank goodness for companions though! As we sat Tuesday morning discussing what we learned I had a little break down and shared all my feelings with sys werjefelt. She was calm :) and knew just what to say. Next day I also received a letter from a good friend. He has been like an extra trainer throughout my mission. He wrote to me about exactly what I was feeling and shared with me how he overcame those feelings while he was on his mission. Perfect timing.

I also had another little experience this weekend. We had this last minute big decision to make Friday evening. It was to cancel our plans for Saturday and go to the Copenhagen temple the next day with the young adults and the elders in Lund. (I wont be able to go through the temple one last time before I go home because we leave on a Tuesday early morning and the temple is closed Monday morning.. so we got permission to go on our own time). We had thought about going my last Saturday... but suddenly we were offered this chance and it was a free car ride. Friday night I sat there unsure of which option to take. I did pro's and con's and tried to figure out what to do. I didn't want to cancel on the lessons we had set up on Saturday... but it would be really fun to go with all the youth and it was free... ugg!

I prayed and felt like it would be best to stay and hope that everything would work out for us to go again.

Saturday morning I sat reading and wondering about if I was really a good missionary. I had once again felt an overwhelming feeling that I was not doing my best and that I was not a good missionary. I read "Preach My Gospel" in the first chapter about "How to be a successful missionary" In there it said "Do not be discouraged in yourself. You can know that the Lord is happy with you when you feel the Holy Ghost working through you." ... humm.. I thought.. is the Holy Ghost working through me?

Right then the phone rang and we got a text message. It was from one of our wonderful members who we would be helping that day, Ellie. Ellie's aunt had just moved in and one of the things that we had scheduled for the day was to go help her unpack. Ellie texted us about somethings we would be helping with today and how much her aunt really appreciated us coming to help her.

At that moment I was filled with such gratitude that we had decided to stay home and not go to the temple. I was so glad I didn't have to text her and say.. oh sorry we are not going to be coming to help you today. I realized that the Holy Spirit had worked through me and guided me to know what would be best to do.

I learned I might not be the perfect missionary. I might have missed a lot of opportunities.. etc. But the Lord can still use imperfect tools to help build his perfect kingdom.

Heavenly Father is the best planner in the world. I don't know how he can answer everyone's prayers at just the right moment. I talked to Ellie about how she had answered my prayer on Sunday. She said... "I was just lying in bed and I felt like I needed to text you right then and there. So I did."

WELLL! You will be getting one more letter from me! I'll be home sooner than you know it. Don't expect anyone special to come back... I'm still littl' ol' imperfect me :)


Syster Schneiber

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